Understanding Splitting in BPD: Definition, Duration, Factors, and Insights
For individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), a phenomenon known as "splitting" occurs when they struggle to accurately appraise others or situations. This can lead to extreme views, such as perceiving someone as either outstanding or detestable.
Unconsciously or without awareness, people with BPD might label others with intensely polarizing or exaggerated terms. Their evaluations can shift quickly. For instance, their partner may be considered the "worst partner" one day and the "best partner" the next.
To delve deeper into the concept of splitting in BPD, its symptoms, duration, and management strategies, continue reading.
What is splitting in BPD?
BPD is a type of personality disorder characterized by intense emotions, self-image concerns, and impulsive behaviors. Individuals with BPD typically struggle with relationship stability and exhibit irrational behavior.
Splitting represents black-and-white thinking, leading people to perceive others or even themselves as entirely good or entirely bad. These perceptions might flip rapidly.
Individuals with BPD engage in splitting due to conflicting emotions about someone or something they find challenging to manage or unacceptable. Their relationships often fluctuate between extreme highs and lows.
BPD sufferers often struggle with maintaining a consistent sense of self, which disrupts their perceptions of other people.
While splitting is primarily an inherent aspect of BPD, it's also observed in individuals with other mental health conditions and those without any underlying mental illness. However, for those with BPD, splitting can represent a pervasive, ongoing pattern that worsens relationship instability.
Idealization vs. devaluation
Idealization and devaluation are two essential features of BPD. An individual experiencing splitting might oscillate between both.
Idealization is a mental process that involves ascribing overly positive qualities to someone or something. An extreme example would be viewing a person as flawless or infallible.
Devaluation, on the other hand, involves attributing overly negative qualities to someone or something. They are seen as completely negative. An extreme instance would be expressing intense hatred toward someone.
Both concepts can manifest in people without BPD as well.
Signs and symptoms
Splitting might not always be immediately apparent to external observers. People with BPD feel their emotions intensely and might believe their perspectives are truthful.
Some signs indicating somebody is splitting include:
- frequently idealizing someone, only to later denounce them as abusive or toxic
- failure to discern the nuances in other people's relationships or actions
- cutting ties with someone, followed by feelings of abandonment
People may notice the following signs within themselves:
- numerous chaotic or unstable relationships
- rapidly shifting feelings about other people
- emotions that seem more intense than those of others
- consistently alternating between pushing someone away and wanting them to stay near
Examples
Some examples of splitting include:
- threatening to leave a romantic partner and then desperately begging them not to leave when they actually do
- attributing another person's behavior purely to their inherent goodness or badness, rather than seeing them as a complex individual with both positive and negative attributes
- perceiving oneself or others as entirely good or entirely bad
- having intensely emotional experiences surrounding other individuals that shift rapidly, depending on one's feelings or circumstances
How long does splitting last?
There isn't a set duration for splitting behaviors.
A person might alternate between conflicting perceptions multiple times a day, or their perception of someone might persist for an extended time. Splitting will continue until they develop more effective methods to manage BPD symptoms.
Causes
For individuals with BPD, splitting may serve as a coping mechanism.
Despite much research, experts have not yet discovered the root causes of BPD. However, potential influences include:
- exposure to trauma or stress during childhood
- experiencing a dismissive or invalidating environment during childhood
- genetic factors
Learn more about trigger factors for BPD.
Prevention and how to stop
Those who suspect they might be splitting may wish to evaluate whether this is a recurring pattern in their lives. If it is, therapy for BPD may be advantageous.
Some prevention strategies includes:
- Gaining perspective: Consider whether a more moderate view and reframing the situation could be helpful. For instance, perhaps the person did not ruin one's life but disappointed or hurt you.
- Exploring other traits: Practice acknowledging various characteristics of the person and the language that contributes to splitting, such as "always" and "never." Strive to utilize more accurate language.
- Cultivating empathy: Consider why the person might behave as they do.
- Keeping a journal: Document emotions to better understand experiences that trigger splitting behaviors and your own feelings during splitting.
Treatment and coping
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved medication for BPD treatment. However, doctors may still prescribe medication to manage symptoms.
One of the most effective treatments is psychotherapy. Several therapeutic approaches have proven particularly beneficial:
- Emotion Regulation Therapy: This technique fosters comprehension and compassion to aid individuals in handling severe emotional responses. The primary aim is to foster a sense of inquiry, thereby reducing the number of assumptions made about others' conduct.
- *Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Mindfulness:* This method provides mindfulness techniques to help individuals calm their emotional turmoil. It further incorporates social skills development and emotion management training.
- Transformative-Centered Psychotherapy: In this approach, the therapist employs their interaction with the client to scrutinize and reframe problematic emotions and behaviors.
Connecting with a Specialist
A physician can direct an individual to a psychotherapist and may also suggest medications.
Individuals can reach out to a mental health care professional if:
- they frequently experience periodical separation
- they have a background marked by unstable, abusive, or chaotic relationships
- they regularly grapple with intense emotions that feel challenging to manage
- they harbor thoughts of self-harm or suicide
- they speculate they may have BPD or another mental health condition
Support is Available
If you or someone you know is in crisis, considering suicide or self-harm, seek assistance:
- Contact the 988 Lifeline at 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. Skilled counselors are on hand to listen and offer free and confidential support round the clock.
- Text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 to engage with a volunteer crisis counselor for free and confidential support round the clock.
- Outside the United States? Locate a helpline in your country using Befrienders Worldwide.
- Call 911 or your local emergency response number if you feel it is safe to do so.
If you’re contacting on someone else's behalf, stay with them until help arrives. You can securely store away any weapons or substances that may cause harm if you can do so safely.
If you’re not residing in the same household, continue talking with them until help arrives.
In individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), the use of predictive models or algorithms to identify potential episodes of depression could be beneficial, as rapid shifts in emotions and perceptions can contribute to mental health challenges.
Addressing the impact of splitting in BPD requires a comprehensive approach that includes both self-awareness and therapeutic interventions. This may involve using techniques such as gaining perspective, exploring other traits, cultivating empathy, and keeping a journal to help manage splits and reduce their frequency and intensity.
