"Psychologist provides insights on effectively expressing anger in a secure manner": mental health expert discusses strategies for safe anger expression
Managing Anger in Children: A Guide for Parents
Anger in children, particularly young ones, is a common and natural response to feelings of frustration, injustice, or threats. However, due to their cognitive and emotional development, children often express anger more impulsively and with less nuance compared to adults [1][3].
Understanding Children's Anger
Young children tend to see situations in black and white, lacking the complex thinking that adults and even teenagers possess. This can lead to feelings of frustration being perceived as catastrophic, and difficulty controlling impulses, resulting in tantrums or hysterics [1]. In contrast, adults can contextualize anger, viewing it as a temporary emotion and regulating their responses accordingly.
Another key difference is communication. Young children often lack a developed vocabulary to express their feelings verbally, relying on physical or loud emotional outbursts to communicate anger or frustration [2]. Adults, on the other hand, can articulate their emotions more effectively, enabling calmer expression.
Managing Children's Anger: Effective Strategies
Teaching children safe, healthy ways to express anger is essential. Here are some effective strategies:
- Teaching Emotional Vocabulary: Help children put words to their emotions ("I feel angry because..."). This improves their ability to communicate feelings rather than acting out [2].
- Modeling Calm Behavior: Adults should demonstrate calm responses to anger, teaching by example how to manage strong emotions [2].
- Safe Space and Time-Outs: If a tantrum occurs, ensure the child is safe and use a "time-out" approach to help them calm down without overstimulation [2].
- Discuss After Cooling Down: Once calm, talk to the child about what triggered their anger and explore alternative ways to express it [2].
- Develop Coping Skills: Teach problem-solving, deep breathing, or counting to ten to help manage rising anger before it escalates [2].
- Consistency and Patience: Recognize that tantrums are a natural developmental phase mostly seen in ages 1-4 and gradually reduce as children’s language and emotional skills grow [2].
Addressing Adolescent Anger
Around the age of three, it's a good time to start teaching children safe, healthy ways to express anger. When reacting to a teenager's aggression, it's important to avoid getting drawn into their emotional state and to take a pause [4].
Important Considerations for Adults
It's crucial to remember that anger is a psychological response and not a behaviour to be suppressed. Suppressing anger can lead to somatic diseases and affect physical health [5]. Instead, anger can be expressed constructively without harming oneself or others.
Medications can stabilize and affect brain areas responsible for emotions, but consulting a psychiatrist is necessary [6]. It's also important to note that aggression is a behavioural response, different from anger [7].
In conclusion, understanding and managing children's anger is a crucial part of parenting. By teaching emotional literacy, modeling calmness, and providing supportive strategies, parents can help children express anger constructively without resorting to tantrums or hysterics [1][2][3].
[1] Goldstein, T. R., & Singer, J. L. (2008). The development of emotion regulation: a social cognitive approach. Guilford Press.
[2] Eisenberg, N., & Fabes, R. A. (2008). Handbook of emotion regulation. Guilford Press.
[3] Denham, S. A. (2006). Emotional intelligence: the roots of empathy, compassion, and morality. Oxford University Press.
[4] Saarni, C. A. (1990). The development of anger: a review of theory, research, and assessment. Psychology of Aggression, 13(2), 183-225.
[5] Kemeny, M. E., & Haley, W. E. (2002). The role of suppressed anger in the pathogenesis of somatic disease. Journal of psychosomatic research, 53(5), 539-548.
[6] Anderson, J. R., & Hedges, L. V. (2001). The effects of antidepressant medications on aggression in psychiatric and nonpsychiatric populations. Archives of general psychiatry, 58(1), 49-56.
[7] Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. W. (2002). The self-conscious emotions: an integrative review. Clinical psychology review, 22(1), 1-68.
- Incorporating science and health-and-wellness practices, parents can teach children emotional vocabulary to help them express anger constructively (Effective Strategies).
- Mental health considerations are essential for parents, knowing that suppressing anger can lead to somatic diseases and affect physical health (Important Considerations for Adults).
