Mourning Progression: Coping Mechanisms for Recovery
In the wake of significant loss, understanding the emotional journey one embarks on can provide valuable insights and help individuals cope more effectively. Originally proposed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the five stages of grief have been expanded upon to offer a more comprehensive model that better captures the nuances of the grief process. This expanded framework includes seven stages, providing a fuller depiction of the grief journey, especially relevant in contexts like breakups or other types of loss.
The seven stages in this expanded framework are as follows:
1. Shock - The immediate reaction to unexpected or painful loss, serving as a psychological buffer that causes emotional numbness or detachment. The mind struggles to accept reality, leading to disbelief and a sense of watching events unfold from a distance. This stage can last days or weeks depending on the severity of the loss.
2. Denial - Acting as an emotional defense, denial helps buffer the overwhelming reality by causing the person to disbelieve or reject the loss. Thoughts like "This can’t be happening" are common, giving the psyche time to process the situation more gradually.
3. Pain and Anguish (sometimes also part of the traditional "anger" or "depression" phases, but here distinguished) - Following denial, the intense emotional pain sets in, which can manifest as sorrow, anguish, or even anger. This stage captures the raw hurt of loss more explicitly before bargaining or depression takes hold.
4. Guilt and Bargaining - Attempts to regain control by negotiating or making deals, such as "If only I had..." or promises to a higher power to reverse or mitigate the loss. This stage often accompanies feelings of guilt or self-blame.
5. Depression - Deep sadness as the reality of loss is fully accepted, leading to withdrawal, hopelessness, and reflection on the magnitude of absence. This is a natural and necessary part of mourning, different from clinical depression, tied directly to the loss experienced.
6. Upward Turn (Testing) - In this phase, emotions begin to stabilize; there is a subtle shift towards healing. People start testing ways to cope and regain a sense of control and normalcy. This stage represents a gradual emergence from the depth of sorrow.
7. Reconstruction and Acceptance - The final stage where the individual starts rebuilding their life around the loss. Acceptance here means acknowledging the loss and learning to live with it, not necessarily being happy about it but finding ways to move forward and find new meaning or joy.
This seven-stage model captures a more nuanced progression through grief, emphasizing that grief is highly personal and non-linear. People may not experience all stages or in fixed order, but this framework helps understand the emotional dynamics involved in healing from significant loss. It is particularly used to understand complicated grief experiences, such as post-breakup grieving, but is applicable to various forms of loss.
In the seven-stage model of grief, science and health-and-wellness professionals might find the stage of Reconstruction and Acceptance particularly relevant to mental-health discussions, as it focuses on learning to live with the loss and finding ways to move forward and potentially find new meaning or joy. Furthermore, understanding the Pain and Anguish stage can be crucial in health-and-wellness and mental-health practices, as it allows professionals to address the raw hurt of loss more explicitly during the grief journey.
