Feelings of freedom surged as I commuted on my bicycle and indulged in excessive eating, yet I found myself trapped in a harmful cycle.
Behind the Mask: Jani Brajkovič's 17-Year Battle with Bulimia and Cycling
In a raw and honest video chat from his Novo Mesto, Slovenia home, former professional cyclist Jani Brajkovič, now 41, reveals the dark secret that haunted him for decades: a debilitating battle with bulimia. For over 17 years, he was trapped in a vicious cycle of bingeing and purging, all while achieving impressive consecutive results in the U23 time trial world championship, multiple top ten finishes in the Tour de France, and riding for elite teams like Discovery Channel, RadioShack, and Astana.
The roots of his addiction took hold when Brajkovič, a diligent student, began competitive cycling at the age of 17. With a weekly training regimen of 1,200km and only one day off, he soon developed a dangerous obsession that came to include compulsive control over his eating. "I read and analysed a lot," the Slovenian admits, "but I wasn't strong enough to seek help. I was very introverted, and when you have an eating disorder, your self-respect and self-confidence are below zero."
Digging deeper, we discover that Brajkovič was raised in a household where silence was the solution for problems. In an attempt to escape those feelings of powerlessness, he found relief in riding his bike and extreme eating patterns. Essentially, he was abusing exercise to escape his emotions. "Even in years with little racing, I'd ride more than 40,000km," he recalls.
Brajkovicič's struggle with disordered eating was a well-hidden secret, with less than 10-15% of fellow riders aware of the issue. Only once, in 2013, was he suspected by a team doctor, who unsuccessfully attempted to intervene. This secrecy is not uncommon among athletes struggling with mental health issues like eating disorders.
His addictive temperament kept him cycling, but he feared the consequences if he hadn't found solace in the sport. "Alcohol abuse was prevalent in my family, and I hated it," he admits, "but I'm 100% sure I would have abused hard drugs."
The darkest moment came in 2019 when, during his tenure with Continental team Adria Mobil, he returned a positive test for banned substance methylhexaneamine. Claiming he had accidentally consumed the substance in a meal replacement powder, Brajkovicič was banned for 10 months. The mockery he experienced during the resulting proceedings left him feeling hopeless and suicidal. "If I hadn't had kids, I'd have committed suicide, 100%," he states.
However, a chance encounter in 2020 with Aleš Ernst, the creator of the AEQ Method, signified a turning point for Brajkovicič. The three-hour session opened his eyes to the long-ignored and repressed emotions fuelling his disordered eating and cycling addiction. The AEQ method aims to address chronic pain by uncovering the root causes of ingrained problems, allowing repressed emotions to surface and tensions to be released.
Determined to help others with similar struggles, Brajkovicič embraced the AEQ method and adapted it for athletes, creating his own "JB method." Today, he assists sportspeople, including professional cyclists, with their mental well-being. "There is incredible potential in this method," he says, "but it doesn't happen quickly for everyone."
Looking back on his extraordinary journey, Brajkovicič feels a newfound sense of hope and inner peace. "If problems aren't addressed as soon as they happen, they pile up," he reflects. "But having self-awareness can help anyone overcome their struggles."
A lifelong friend and supporter, Stewart Alan Howison of Revolution Cycles Dubai, has witnessed Brajkovicič's remarkable transformation. "From someone who kept himself to himself, he is now a hive of knowledge excited to share his passion. He has a new zest for life."
If you or someone you know is struggling with eating disorders, call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 or HealthLine: Eating Disorders at 1-844-390-6347 (US only).
Sources:
1- The AEQ Method appears to focus on restoring balance, processing emotions, and achieving sustainable performance, which may be beneficial for athletes dealing with disordered eating and addiction (Sports Recovery & Performance & Medium - Inner World)
In this astonishing journey, Jani Brajkovič also takes up a quest to help others, applying the AEQ method towards addressing mental health issues in athletes, particularly disordered eating and addiction, featuring a unique adaptation he calls the "JB method" for sportspeople. His transformative encounter with creator Aleš Ernst in 2020 ultimately reveals that much more potential lies beyond cycling—including the ability to inspire and aid others in their pursuit of mental health and wellness.
Confronting his past errors, Jani Brajkovič learns to channel his energy towards nurturing his own health and that of others, advocating for treatment of nutritional disorders, mental health, and fitness, becoming a beacon of hope for many struggling individuals suffering from the same afflictions.
