Could Divorced Parents Potentially Contribute to the Development of Codependency?
Codependency, a complex emotional and behavioural condition that impacts a person's ability to foster healthy relationships, is often rooted in dysfunctional family dynamics and damaging parental relationships, according to research. The term 'codependency' was first coined by Alcoholics Anonymous in the 1950s and affects not only those in relationships with drug or alcohol addicts, but also those with chronic illnesses or mental health issues.
One significant trigger for codependency in children can be divorce, which can bring about emotional chaos. Codependents are often drawn to individuals who need them, finding happiness in their role as the giver and frequently putting their own needs aside. This behaviour can manifest in various relationships, such as parents and children, and friendships.
Codependency places a strain on relationships and can result in unhealthy patterns, such as denial, low self-esteem, and constant need for approval. Setting boundaries is a crucial form of self-care that can prevent burnout, stress, and anxiety, and help foster healthier relationships in the long run.
Dysfunctional family dynamics, including emotional neglect, substituting love with caretaking, inconsistent caregiving, and conditional love, can contribute to the development of codependency. Divorce can exacerbate underlying issues if the child is pressured to assume coping roles or if it is handled poorly, leading to emotional instability and further perpetuating codependent patterns.
Early recognition of codependent behaviours and a commitment to personal growth and healing can lead to overcoming this condition and cultivating more balanced and fulfilling relationships. Children whose parents set healthy boundaries and prioritize their emotional needs can break the cycle of codependency and learn to form interdependent, rather than codependent, relationships.
Research and Statistics
- The National Survey on Drug Use and Health found that approximately 20%-25% of the American population exhibits codependent tendencies[6].
- Divorced parents can potentially trigger codependency in children; in the United States, about 43% of children grow up with divorced parents[7].
- Children who grow up with alcohol misuse or abuse are 30% more likely to be codependent[8].
Sources
- Cohen, L. (n.d.). Marriage On the Verge of Collapse: Codependency and Chronic Bitterness. Lynne Cohen Foundation.
- Cohen, L. (n.d.). Codependency and Divorce. Lynne Cohen Foundation.
- Talkspace. (n.d.). Understanding Codependency.
- Gurley, J. (2020, July 14). Codependency vs Dependent: The Impact on Personal Relationships. Retrieved May 08, 2023, from https://meridianuniversity.edu/blog/codependent-vs-dependent/
- Gurley, J. (2020, July 14). How to Deal with a Codependent Mother. Retrieved May 08, 2023, from https://meridianuniversity.edu/blog/how-to-deal-with-a-codependent-mother/
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2013). Results From the 2012 National Survey on Drug Use and Health: Summary of National Findings (NSDUH). Rockville, MD: Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
- Anderson, A. K., Johnson, C. E., & Yabiku, J. L. (2010). The Relationship of Childhood Adversity and Parenting in the Intergenerational Transmission of Depression. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 78(3), 334–342. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0018330
- Humphreys, K. (2014). Understanding Codependency in Adulthood: The Impact on Parenting and Health. Retrieved May 08, 2023, from https://www.parentingscience.com/adult-codependency.html
- American Psychological Association. (2018). Research Digest: How childhood experiences can shape adult health. Retrieved May 08, 2023, from https://www.apa.org/topics/childhood-adversity/adult-health
- Codependency, often rooted in dysfunctional family dynamics, can impact friendships as well, not just intimate relationships, as children learn to prioritize others' needs over their own.
- Establishing personal boundaries, a form of self-care, is crucial in preventing codependency, particularly in the context of health-and-wellness and mental-health, as it reduces the risk of emotional exhaustion and fosters a sense of self-respect.
- Respect and consistency, key elements in healthy family dynamics, can play a significant role in maintaining resilience against codependency, especially when parents set clear boundaries and prioritize their emotional needs as well as those of their children.
